Being Dad

In the summer of 1990, I joined Margo in reading lots of "what to expect the first year" books and attending Lamaze classes. I had finished with my Masters, Margo left her job with the law firm, and we were preparing to relocate to small-town Nebraska for what turned out to be a huge culture shock. But the climax to our "summer of change" came when Benjamin arrived and made me a Dad.

Even 20 years later I vividly remember the details of the birthing center in Chicago. I remember Margo having long, agonizing back labor (something she suffered through for all three of our kids). I remember his birth -- that breath-taking moment of indescribable miracle. I remember holding him for the first time and being unable to wrap my mind around the implications of that precious, fragile life in my hands. I remember Ben giving us the scare of a lifetime as we were leaving the hospital and he stopped breathing momentarily. (The nurse patted him on the back a few times and sent us on our way... totally freaked out and terrified.)

Less than a year later, Margo stopped by my office with the news that we were going to do it all over again. As before, the details are etched in my mind. We had talked with our Family Physician about allowing me to deliver Elizabeth when the time came, but Beth had different plans. She rushed the process -- less than an hour from first contraction to birth. We were just glad to have made it to the hosptial and to have a random doctor walking through the hallway step in to "catch" at the last second (without even having time to put his arm through the second sleeve of his gown; Beth was in such a hurry!).

Rebecca took a different seventeen months later. After Margo's water broke and we rushed to the hospital, Becky decided she'd hang out a while longer and labor stopped. We had to coax her back into the birthing process with inducement, but it allowed me the opportunity to deliver her myself (with Doctor Freuhling standing close by). So amazing and wondrous, it's a memory I'll treasure forever.

Being a Dad has been a difficult task, and it's brought out both the best and the worst in me over the years. I loved snuggling with my kids, reading books to them (using funny voices, of course), going to soccer games together, laughing and playing games, offering what little tidbits of wisdom I've picked up along the way, etc. I'm not so keen on the times when I allowed my patience to be tested, my temper to rise, or my selfish injustice to take over; oh, what I would do for a cosmic "Rewind" button sometimes!

Yet, all in all, being a Dad has been an amazing, overall life-changing experience. My life is so much richer because I get to share it with Ben, Beth, and Becky! What's more, I've gained a better perspective of what it's like to relate to my Heavenly Father and what he has experienced with me as his child. I understand his heart, his love, his grace, his discipline, and his persistent loyalty to me so much better because I've tasted that experience as a Dad.

So Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there. I know it's certainly a happy day for me. :)