Transformers

Since I've been offering reviews of all the other summer movies I've seen, I might as well post something about Transformers. I had fun seeing it with Gavin and the boys this week. I wasn't really into those toys as a kid; they're a little past my time. And I admit that I wasn't sure I understood all the hoopla about a film based on little robotic action figures. But Spielburg produced the thing, so I figured there must be something to it.

It was a big, action-filled, tongue-in-cheek bubblegum flick. Clearly they're counting on a massive revival of the franchise that will result in millions of dollars of revenue from toys, cartoons, etc. And there were some fun moments throughout the film. It was well done, and the special effects are huge.

But a couple of days after seeing the film, I'm still disturbed. You see, in this movie targeted at little kids and filled with giant toys, there are elements that are really inappropriate for children. The hero's protector in the film -- a transforming Camero named "Bumblebee" -- has apparently come to earth with the other Transformers to save the world from evil. But before he does that, the car/robot apparently has time to help our teenage hero get the girl. And the car/robot's intentions are clear; when it gets the two of them together for a ride, it drives them to a remote spot and turns the radio on to the song "Sexual Healing." Real subtle. And by the end of the film, the car is happy to provide a place for the young couple to begin getting physical. Boy, Moms and Dads! Don't you just want to rush out and buy Junior his own toy "Bumblebee" now?

Even more disturbing is a scene midway through the movie in which the lead characters talk about some very adult subject matter. The power lines have been knocked out and the house is dark. But our hero's parents notice a light coming from under his bedroom door, and they hear him talking. (He's trying to keep his family from finding out that there are giant robots at the house, and his soon-to-be-girlfriend is there with him searching for something in his room.) Mom and Dad finally come in and wonder what he's up to. Before long, they're asking him if he was masturbating. Mom suggests a more comfortable euphamism if it makes it easier to talk about. Then they find the girl hiding in the room, and our hero's parents seem genuinely pleased at the thought that their son might have snuck a girl up to his bedroom and wasn't in there by himself.

Are we comfortable dismissing this stuff in the middle of a kids' film (!) because the rest of the flick is a fun summer blockbuster? Oh, and don't be surprised when our hero cusses from time to time, parents. Hopefully Junior won't pick up the habit.

Too bad, really. Had they kept it clean and family-friendly, I would have highly recommended the film. It was almost a great summer treat -- like eating a hot fudge sundae and discovering a couple of maggots in the middle.