Spidey & Pirates 3: More Bleh

They say that the third time's a charm. Well, not for Hollywood this summer, it seems.

Since I've already shared my disappointment with Shrek 3, let me comment on the two other "three" films I've been looking forward to this summer: Spider-man 3 and Pirates of the Carribean 3. Sadly, they were just as disappointing. (And I'll do my best to avoid any major plot spoilers).

From a preacher's perspective, Spider-man 3 offers all sorts of great discussion-starters about morality, the corruption of power, the importance of honesty and trust in a relationship, the opportunity for repentance, etc. But from a movie-goer's perspective, I want my money back. Too many antagonists made the story unnecessarily complicated and kept the characters from being fully developed. I mean, we've got Sandman, Venom (the alien substance), Venom (the possession of Peter Parker), Venom (the final possession), Green Goblin 2, a cameo by the hallucination of the original Green Goblin, the rivalry of Eddie Brock, the rivalry of Harry Osborn, the rivalry of J.Jonah Jamison... it's just too much. Throw in the threat of Gwen Stacy, the alienation of Mary Jane (and her own dilemmas), and the whole thing becomes messy. Oh, sure, the effects were great. The action sequences were great. But overall I was disappointed.

As for Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End, it suffered from the same problems as Spidey 3. Too many characters, too many complicated plot elements... just too much of everything. Sure, it was great seeing Jack Sparrow again. And there were certainly a couple of the funny action-sequence moments we're expecting (the short pirate and the big gun was hilarious). But it felt like the storyline simply escalated out of control. We get a cosmic twist of one character mid-way through the film that doesn't make sense (and is quickly abandoned by the writers except as the cause of a great final battle setting). We get characters acting... well, out-of-character (Elizabeth comes to mind over and over again...). Gone are the colors of the first two films in favor for a darker, grayer, more dismal visual palette. And the movie kind of dragged on for 2 hours and 45 minutes. No kidding, I was having trouble staying awake by the end of the first hour. Yeah, just like Shrek and Spidey, the technical side of the film was brilliant. Effects and action sequences were wonderful. And you can't beat all that rope-swinging swashbuckling! But the perfect review was offered by the couple sitting next to me: About half-way through the wife whispered, "Should we just leave? This is awful," to which the husband replied, "Naw, we made it this far. Let's see how it ends."

So much for the summer's "three's."