Random Thoughts

Yeah, yeah... I know. I've become a bit sluggish about keeping up with the blog. I'm sorry about that, and I've got a zillion lame excuses. Part of the struggle I've had is knowing what is appropriate to share lately. I've been doing a lot of deep thinking about very personal stuff. Margo and I have had a couple of great conversations about what's going on in my head, what I'm feeling about life and ministry, and stuff like that. But there's more to it than even what I've shared with my wife. I have this sense that I'm standing on this threshhold or at some crossroads with God. And for a variety of reasons, I feel a bit paralyzed to move. It's a bit unnerving, and I think I've been hesitant to share because just putting it into words sort of obligates me to take action. So I guess I'm that little kid standing at the edge of the diving board trying to muster up enough courage to leap forward and desperately hoping that everyone else around the pool isn't watching because I feel kind of vulnerable and intimidated.

I wish I could explain it better than that, but I'm really not sure how -- at least, not in writing like this. And maybe it's just a personal thing that needs to be explored privately between me and God anyways. I don't know. The great thing is that God is certainly moving in my life, and I am very aware that he's whispering in my ear.

In the meantime, while I figure this stuff out, a lot of things are going on.

This afternoon, Margo and I will join hundreds of other people in bidding farewell to J. R. Davison. I first met J. R. through Tres Dias, and I've enjoyed some great conversations with him this past year. He was an amazing man who invested so much of himself in others. I'm confident he is having a great time celebrating in the presence of his Heavenly Father, but he will be greatly missed around here.

The kids have been pushing to be ready for The Prince and the Pauper performances this weekend, and that's meant some really late nights for Margo and me (last night, I picked them up at 10:30 PM after over 9 hours of dress rehearsal!). I'm looking forward to finally seeing the show tomorrow night... and twice on Saturday!

Next week we'll be hosting some friends from Arizona. I'm really looking forward to seeing them! And right after their visit concludes, we'll be visited by great friends from our days in Nebraska. I expect this month will be filled with lots of catching up, reflecting on past experiences, and having a lot of fun with people we love.

We really enjoyed having my Dad visit for Father's Day. I am so glad we were able to fly him out here to Virginia to spend more time with us, and I felt especially honored to be able to talk about his influence on my life this past Sunday.

It also dawned on me that I've been a father for 18 years now. My oldest is turning 18! Talking about filling out draft registration, university applications, and all the other stuff that comes with this stage of life has been sobering. I'm finding more gray hairs (oh, hush... there may not be much hair in the first place, I know). I'm feeling very middle age all of a sudden, and I'm realizing that it won't be much longer before it's just Margo and me at the house. It's kind of an odd, haunting experience.

I received a very painful letter from someone back in Arizona this past week. They were one of the people wounded by what happened at our church, and it saddened me to hear how they're still grieving. I have to admit that I sympathize with that sadness more than I expected to after this much time has past, though in a very different way. God has blessed us extraordinarily, and I'm really grateful. Still, I miss so many friends.

I'm increasingly excited about the upcoming release of Champions Online by Cryptic Studios. I was especially intrigued to see what they're doing with characters that I developed with Hero Games way back when. It's really interesting to watch how another designer uses your material, and I'm wondering what it will feel like to see the characters from behind the controllers of an XBox.

Yes, I'm still poking my way through unChristian, and I'm looking forward to discussing the book with people once I've had a chance to ponder it further. Really interesting stuff!

We're looking forward to adding some ceiling fans to the house this weekend; the kids will be especially happy to have the airflow in their bedrooms at night! Though, admittedly, the weather has been spectaculara here in Virginia lately. This is such an amazingly beautiful place to live!

Anyways, enough rambling with random thoughts. Stay in touch, everyone!