It Continues...

It's just after 5:00 AM and I've already been awake for a couple of hours. Honestly, it's been weeks since I've had a really good night's sleep. I think my body got into a pattern of disrupted sleep when we went to Texas to bid farewell to my mom, and now my body thinks this is normal. Something needs to change soon. Anyways...

In a few hours, Margo and Beth will board a plane heading to Kentucky. They'll be there for at least a week, though they've made arrangements for an open-ended return date so I won't be surprised if the trip is significantly longer.

Margo's mom had surgery to repair her broken femur, and yesterday she spent a big chunk of the day going through all sorts of tests as they search for the cancer that is almost certainly behind the diseased bone. They wore her out with tests.

Originally, we thought Margo's mom had fallen and broken her leg. But from what we understand, Margo's mom heard and felt the bone break before she fell to the floor. That's really bad news and means the doctors are probably right. We're hoping and praying for another explanation, but I think we're emotionally gearing up for the worst.

I was lying awake in the dark this morning thinking about it all. I think we're feeling pretty emotionally overwhelmed -- it's almost too much. We're still experiencing the grief from losing my mom just a few weeks ago, and now we're waiting for some kind of definitive answer for Margo's mom. Meanwhile, life goes on (as it should). We go to work, the kids go to school, we host a Super Bowl party, we're volunteering for Tres Dias, we invest in people's lives at church, we help with preparations for the Sweetheart Ball (which Margo will now have to miss), etc.

For me, I think I'm compartmentalizing more than I realize. Perhaps that's the only way to deal with the huge emotions from everything and still go on with life. But last night, as we sat down to dinner, I started praying and it all welled up very suddenly and unexpectedly. So I choked back the tears, committed our trust in God for whatever he has in store, thanked him for the meal, and the emotions quickly subsided as we moved on with dinner and an evening together as family.

I'm not really sure what "normal" is right now, but I sure miss it...