A Few Errands

When we packed for our trip to Oklahoma, we had no idea that we'd end up in Texas, and we had no idea that our trip would be extended by several days. We had packed very comfortable, casual clothing because we thought we'd be spending the weekend with my mom in the hospital. But we didn't pack anything for a funeral.

So, before leaving Tulsa, we found ourselves a Kohls and did some shopping. It took a lot longer than we expected because we took the time to look for great deals on the clearance racks. But, in the end, we all found something suitable to wear to the memorial service. Margo even explained our situation to the manager at the checkout, and he threw in a significant additional discount. What a blessing.

However, we discovered here in Texas that some of Margo's clothing didn't get bagged; it must have been left behind at checkout. Margo called the store, and they've made arrangements for us to go to the closest Kohls here in Texas to find a replacement. That means we're driving to Waco today -- about an hour and a half away. It works out fine, though, because we've got to swing by a medical supply place on the way to return mom's unused oxygen tanks and such.

We spent a big chunk of yesterday "deep cleaning" my folks' house for my dad -- the kind of stuff that he could not have had time for as a primary caregiver in the last few months. So it was a day of dusting, cleaning windows, making small repairs, scrubbing bathrooms, cleaning out the refridgerator, etc. It felt good to be helpful to my dad in such a practical way.

The next couple of days should be pretty quiet around here. We've only got a few errands to take care of. I'm going to help dad put together an obituary piece, and I want to find some quiet time to compose what I want to say at the memorial service. I also want to wash my dad's car and detail the inside.

The hours are passing slowly, and it's still haunting to be surrounded with reminders of mom... as well as my life before marriage. I'll see something hanging on the wall and remember exactly where it hung in my childhood home. There are lots of memorabilia from my parents' world travels. Yesterday I saw the dress my mom wore to my wedding.

But, as I shared with Margo last night, I haven't had a sense of closure. It's still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that mom is gone. So I find myself bouncing between being busy and distracted, or sorting through different memories (which, for some reason, are really clear in my mind all of a sudden), or having this haunting "unfinished" feeling as I ponder life without my mom in the world.

I am SO grateful that we'll be together again in God's presence one day. I honestly don't know how people cope with grief if they don't know the Lord.