Trampled Pearls

Well, I did it. I said I wasn't going to do it. Margo gently encouraged me not to do it. A couple of friends warned me against doing it. And everyone who's heard about me doing it has asked, "What were you thinking?!" But I did it anyways.

I cast my pearls before swine.

That's an interesting phrase, isn't it? Personally, I don't like it very much. It's so harsh! It refers to some people as pigs, and that's an insult in just about every culture throughout history. Actually, the context starts by referring to some people as dogs and then escalates the insult to swine.

The phrase comes from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." (Matthew 7:6 NIV) I wish the quote was more gentle -- something like, "Don't be too quick to offer something beautiful to someone who doesn't want it." At least, then I wouldn't feel so guilty referring to it.

I've read a lot of scholarly opinions trying to explain this passage. Most suggest it has something to do with extending the good news of God's grace to someone who has already decided to reject the truth. You can't drag unwilling people into the wonders of God's Kingdom; even the Almighty God doesn't do that! And there comes a point where continued persuasive efforts become like throwing something precious into a pigpen... or so the scholars say.

Hmm. I don't know. Perhaps. That's certainly one application of this harsh truth. But I suspect Jesus' comments are a bit broader considering the context.

Prior to this statement about dogs and swine, Jesus was talking about judging others hypocritically. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1 NIV) He then goes on to talk about trying to fish a speck of sawdust out of someone's eye while you've got this giant plank of wood sticking out of your own eye. "First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:5 NIV)

Then comes the verse about withholding what is sacred from dogs and keeping your pearls away from swine.

Sure, it's possible that this harsh phrase stands independently in the midst of Jesus' sermon. After all, the verses that follow seem to indicate a change in topic. (Jesus moves on to talk about praying faithfully and receiving God's goodness.)

Yet I suspect the whole "pearls before swine" thing is expanding upon the idea of removing that speck of dust from a brother's eye. Assuming that we've done some serious soul-searching and can approach someone "plank free" (a pretty daunting challenge in itself!), then we're encouraged to help someone else discover God's love and be set free. Of course, remembering the context of Jesus' comments, we must only help others without becoming judgmental or condeming. Our actions must be motivated by compassion and kindness, and the help must be offered without hypocrisy.

But there are those who simply don't want to deal with the speck in their eye, even when offered help in purity and grace. In this case, extending compassion, forgiveness, and liberty are sacred, precious gifts. Yet there are those who will reject those blessings, "trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Sadly, some people have become blind to their own sin; their pride keeps them from accepting the grace that is offered to them because they're convinced they don't need it.

Nonetheless I tried last week. Against the cautions of people who know and love me, I sought to extend peace and forgiveness to someone who boldly declares that he's done nothing he regrets and feels no remorse for his past behavior.

At least my intentions were good.

There was a time when I could have rattled off a list of this guy's sins and the ways he hurt me and my family. Of course, that's when I still had my share of lumber in my eyes so who knows if I was seeing clearly. It took some time -- and a whole lot of God's grace -- to help me truly forgive him of hurts (whether real or merely perceived). I vividly remember the night when I was finally set free, when the aching was replaced by an overflowing of joy. I was blown away by God's grace and my bitterness toward him began to be replaced with compassion.

So when he contacted me kind of out of the blue and talked about "seeking to be at peace with all men," I made my heart vulnerable again. Could it be that I could finally extend to him the grace that I discovered so long ago? Is it possible that things wouldn't be left with simply a one-sided decision to forgive but rather a genuine, godly reconcilliation? Yet I was cautioned to guard my heart. "You don't know what's going on with him. Be careful. Look closely at what he's saying. He's telling you he wants to be at peace, but he's not taking ownership of having done anything damaging. In fact, he's flat-out saying that he has no regrets. Go slowly here. Don't get hurt again."

Ah, but I was so eager for the possibility. I am so totally enamoured with the "precious pearls" of grace God has given me that I was quick to offer a forgiveness that was never being sought out.

Then came the disappointing, somewhat caustic reply revealing how little has changed. So I'm kicking myself. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I knew better. I was warned. Yet I risked my heart once more, tossed my pearls out there, and watched as they were trampled. Ouch!

Still, even a disappointing experience can be a good thing in the hands of God. This encounter has prompted me to take a really good look in the mirror and see what slivers might still be left in my own eyes to cloud my vision. It's been an opportunity for self-reflection and the pursuit of purity. The exchange helped me realize just how free from past bitterness I feel... praise God!... but also how easily past hurts can start growing again like weeds if we're not careful.

I just hope that next time I will be wiser. I will learn to listen to my wife (who is rarely wrong in these things!). And I hope I can truly fulfill the desire of God's heart when it comes to these kinds of situations.

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Romans 12:9–21 NLT

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”says the LORD.

Instead,“If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.