The Gold Medalist of Bong Hits

First this week's news story from the Boston Herald:

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Big Dope Michael Phelps Admits to Having "Bad Judgment"
By Inside Track
Monday, February 2, 2009

Michael Phelps may have won a record eight gold medals during the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, but now he’s gaining notoriety for a less lofty achievement after a photo of the swimmer allegedly smoking marijuana from a bong was published in the United Kingdom’s News of the World, the New York Daily News reported.

Phelps said yesterday he was sorry for his actions, issuing a public apology.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me.”

He continued by saying he was “sorry” and vowing to his fans that this was a one-time mistake. “I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

The picture of the famous swimmer was shot during a Nov. 6 party at the University of South Carolina in Columbia, where he was visiting a co-ed.

Sources told the British paper that Phelps was asked if he wanted to smoke marijuana. He said yes and was then led to a back room.

“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hand as he does swimming in the pool,” one witness said. “He was the gold medalist of bong hits.”

Phelps’ rep, Clifford Bloxham, was caught off guard by the photo and reportedly attempted to keep the photo from being published, with offers of cash as well as a deal to have the swimmer write a column for the paper for three years.

Phelps is on track to earn approximately $100 million from endorsements and he’s already signed deals with Speedo, Visa, Frosted Flakes cereal and the video game Guitar Hero.

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So, just to make sure I'm understanding what's being alleged, Phelps goes to see a co-ed at the university. He's invited to smoke pot, expresses a desire to smoke pot, and goes to a back room to... well, smoke pot. Apparently he appears very comfortable in this setting and with this activity.

But then someone snaps a picture. And Phelps representative tries to supress it with money and a writing deal. The picture gets published. So Phelps says this is a "one-time mistake." (I can't help but be suspicious that the "one time" he's referring to has more to do with only getting caught this once and not so much about how often he's smoked pot.)

Then comes the kicker. Phelps describes his behavior as "youthful and inappropriate." Wait. What? "Youthful?" Smoking pot is a youthful activity? It's something that would have been okay if he was, say, in high school? But now that he's "23 years old" and has had "success in the pool," he's too old for that kiddie weed? Now it's "inappropriate?" It's "bad judgment?"

I don't know Phelps, and I certainly don't feel like being condemning here. Yes, he made a bad choice. Everyone makes bad choices. That's why we need a Savior, right? That's why we're so grateful for God's grace? That's why the "gospel" -- the "good news" -- is all about how Christ already took all the consequences of our sin upon himself at the cross so that we might be spared the judgment we deserve. I'm not at all surprised that a public figure and a sports hero screws up and makes bad choices.

I'm just struck at the efforts to hide what happened. (If the UK's News of the Word had asked to be paid to supress the photo, it would have been blackmail, right?) And I'm thinking about the language used to explain away a sin. "Bad Judgment." "Youthful." "Inappropriate." Why not just own up to doing wrong and leave it at that? Why the spin?

Oh, it's not just Phelps; he's just a convenient public figure to pick on here. Softening the truth about our moral failures has become an international tradition. It keeps us from feeling the shame of our bad choices. The only problem is that as long as we're euphemizing our sin, we're avoiding the conviction of our concience (not to mention the whispers of God's Spirit). And if we deaden our conscience as a society, we deaden our awareness of our need for redemption. And if we don't recognize our need for redemption, we won't cry out to God and experience his forgiving, life-transforming grace. Rather than pursuing holiness, we pursue a complete re-write of morality so that society shrugs and says, "Hey, it's not a big deal." I'm okay, you're okay, right?

Kinda makes me think of an old Steve Taylor song from 1982. And though it's much better on the album, I actually stumbled into a video of Steve and his Some Band performing it. I'm liking the trend of blogging with decades-old Christian pop... :D