The Hunger of the Heart

Last Friday, we celebrated Beth's birthday. It wasn't really her birthday; that event took place last week when our family was stretched out with other commitments. So we agreed to take the entire day just to celebrate with Beth. We ate dessert for breakfast. We played games (made even sweeter when Beth beat us all in a really complicated game of Catan). We went out to lunch in Culpeper.

Then we saw a movie together. The girls have read the Twilight books, and were interested in seeing the film. Now, being the great dad that I am (*ahem*), I actually tried reading the first book in the series; just another way I want to show interest in my kids. *grin* I made it through just over 50 pages before I decided I simply couldn't do it. The books are clearly written to appeal to a teenage girl, and I found it agonizing to wade through. Still, the least I could do is enjoy the film with my family, right? After all, it was Beth's birthday!

We went to the 4:00 showing in Culpeper, and the theater was absolutely packed with teenage girls and the occasional mom. Ben and I felt very awkward (and secretly plotted ways we could escape the theater when the lights dimmed so we could see whatever was playing in the next theater). One mother even looked at me and said, "Wow. You look out of place."

Still, we endured the film. Now, I realize I'm a guy so I suppose I'm probably not supposed to get it. But, well... I don't get it. I don't resonate with the adolescent connection with these characters -- at least not on a personal level. When Edward stepped onto the screen for the first time, several girls in the row in front of us actually reached out their hands toward the screen as if they could grab this boy and pull him close.

Ew.

At first, I chalked up the attraction to the rather timeless "girl wants the bad boy" dynamic that Hollywood throws our way every so often. But it's more than that. From what I can tell -- and from what my daughters have since told me about the stories -- it seems that Edward represents some kind of restrained, gentleman's attitude toward self-control, protection, passion, and intimacy. He loves Bella and would do anything to keep her safe (even from himself and his family). Sadly, this relationship leads to a pretty tangible sexual tension between the characters, and so the story teases its readers with unsatisfied appetites. I was particularly concerned with the relative ease with which Bella was willing to throw away restraint in the film (and, it seems, in the later novels) -- especially since Bella is the protagonist that all those teenage girls are supposed to be connecting with.

It's amazing how powerful mankind's desire for intimacy can be. Of course, I'm convinced that God placed this hunger within us by design; ultimately, it should draw us to the true source of self-control, protection, passion, intimacy, acceptance, hope, joy, and life. Deep down in our souls is this craving for God himself, though most people spend much of their lives trying to satisfy the hunger with something more immediate, tangible, and short-term.

Perhaps it's this hunger for intimacy that Twilight manages to tap into so successfully with its targeted audience. Throwing in all those pubescent hormones doesn't hurt, either.

Someone at our afternoon Bible study this weekend provoked a thought that perhaps there is something at work in the dynamic of romantic relationships that is just a shadow of the ultimate romance of God and man -- of Christ as the groom and his followers as the bride. Perhaps the hunger for intimacy in us which is naturally fulfilled in human relationships -- husband and wife, best friends, fellowship, etc. -- has much greater and more divine implications than we often realize.

I'm sure there's truth in this, and it's one of those things that kind of swirls around in the corners of my mind awaiting more intentional and concentrated consideration. How many times have I sat with a couple in counseling and talked about how their ultimate needs cannot be fulfilled in their imperfect spouse because only God can totally satisfy the hunger of our heart?

For now, all I know is that I endured Twilight the movie and probably deserve some kind of medal. Now pardon me while I go find a bunch of guys to hang out with, watch football, eat junk food, laugh at each other's belches, and generally enjoy some freeflowing testosterone.