5 Random, Unconnected Thoughts

ONE

Margo is coming home in about 4 hours. I am so excited! It seems like we've spent too much time apart this past year, what with the transition to Virginia and everything. And absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

I've been so proud of Margo and Beth this past week as they've spent time in Kentucky helping her mother. Margo's mom is in recovery for the broken femur and learning to use a walker (she can't put weight on the leg for several weeks); Margo and Beth have worked alongside friends and neighbors to prepare the house for her mom's return so that there's plenty of room to maneuver about. Margo's also been busy organizing her mom's finances and paperwork so that everything is in order and simply needs to be maintained from this point. The doctors are saying that they'll start radiation and then proceed to chemo.

In talking with Margo yesterday, it sounds like it's a little tough to leave and come home. Her mom could really use the help, and Margo wants to be there to care for her. On the other hand, Margo has done an incredible job of preserving wise boundaries, and it's time for her to come back. It's just so tough when family lives so far away.

TWO

For the past couple of weeks at Hope we've touched on the topic of being a genuine community of grace according to the principles we see in the life of the spostle Paul as referenced in his letter to the Galatians. I've shared how important it is for us to have relationships that are "safe" and allow us to be transparent, vulnerable, and accountable. I'm eager for this to be so much more than mere words, so I took a personal step in that direction last night as our Elder team met together. I shared very briefly how God is leading me in planning message series for the remainder of the year, including what I'm sensing the Spirit may have in store for us next fall. It would be a series that touches on some very private challenges I've faced in my life, so I chose to be very vulnerable with the other guys and let them know some stuff that I've literally shared with only a handful of people.

Of course, they were gracious, understanding, and encouraging. I suppose I was unintentionally "testing the waters" in being transparent, and their "safe" response encourages me to be that vulnerable as I prepare for our fall series. (Yes, it may seem premature to think about sermons that won't be shared for another six months, but my experience has always been that God has me walk through very personal lessons that relate to whatever series are coming up, and I'm already sensing how powerful this experience will be.) All I'll say at this point is that unless God leads otherwise we'll be looking at the usually unrecognizable and sometimes crippling effects of fear in our lives and how "perfect love casts out all fear."

But what really struck me as I drove home last night is how easy it was to share my heart openly. In my previous church, when I started to share some of my struggles with the leadership team, they offered no compassion or encouragment. One of them even sent out an e-mail to the other guys and commented on my vulnerability with scorn (though I'm sure he didn't mean to accidentally include me on the CC: line for that one... Oops!) I think I'm almost taking for granted how wonderful our Hope family is. There is such a beautiful spirit of grace growing in our midst, and I see such maturity and depth and increasing passion in all of our leadership team. I think that's why God is blessing us and bringing new people our way so they can be part of the wonderful thing the Lord is doing here. And I'm so very proud of our Hope family, and I'm delighted to be serving alongside our elders. What a blessing!

THREE

At 4:00 AM today, I was suddenly awake with the most intense headache I've ever experienced in my life. It was actually frightening. I've had migraines before -- complete with the flickering lights and nausea -- but they just don't compare. My eyes watered as I stumbled down the stairs desparate for some ibuprofen or something. I'm pretty sure it was related to my sinuses; I suspect I've been ignoring a sinus infection for the last couple of weeks. All the symptoms are there, but I'm so hesitant to visit the doctor in an effort to keep my medical records clean. (Obtaining insurance has been a real bear for us in the past.) But enough's enough. I'm crying "Uncle!" The feeling of icepicks being jabbed into the back of my eyesockets from last night's headaches has won me over. I'll go get some antibiotics or whatever now.

FOUR

I chatted with my dad earlier this week, and he had a tremendous surprise for us. He wants to take us all on a cruise together! Several years ago, my folks took the kids on a Disney cruise, and it was one of the highlights of their lives. They had such a blast together! The following year, Margo's sister invited the two of us to spend a week on a Celebrity cruise and write a review for her magazine, Romantic Destanations. We had an amazing time. Well, dad's thinking it would be great for us all to share in a cruise together. I can't wait to start planning! (I'm one of those guys who has as much fun anticipating the vacation as actually going.)

FIVE

Margo is going to be home in a few hours. Oh, did I mention that already? Sorry. I just can barely contain my excitement...