Scott’s Thoughts

Still more psalms from the folks at Hope:

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To YOU GOD,
I surrender my body, my soul, my will
and my life that you have blessed me with.
As each day goes by I experience more and more
change in my emotions and how I perceive situations.
All knowing and merciful GOD,
YOU show me time and time again
that my perception of situations is incorrect.
Heavenly Father, please grant me THY peace
so that I may enjoy what you have provided me with
to the fullest extent.
Gracious LORD,
I do not feel that I am ready
for anything else to change right now;
BUT! if it be THY will than so be it.
Please help me to accept all things in this life
as I know they are all gifts from YOU.

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You gave me Your promise
When all other joy was ripped away
I clung to Your promise
When I could only weep
I clung to Your promise
Still, I taste the salt on my lips
And cling to Your promise
Never did I think she wouldn’t be with us
But I clung to Your promise
I could have held her there, on my chest, so much longer
Instead, I clung to Your promise

Not a promise to heal, not a promise to fix all
But to hold, to comfort,
And to weep as we wept
You, above all, knew what it meant

A mother’s arms were empty
Her heart broken, there could have been only a shell
But instead, You gave her words
And made her to say,
“I am privileged, for my God is with me, close by”

O, my God, You surrounded me
Encircled by arms of a perfect Father
You filled my prayers with thanksgiving
And banished all bitterness!

Praise, You, Almighty God
Like an earthquake you shook me –
‘Till what was left could not be shaken!

In the desert we dwelt
You, O God, were our refuge
Our cool drink
Our next step
Our hope and our promise

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I woke up this morning with the feeling of joy and utter appreciation. Your word says, “you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” I struggled for what seems a lifetime them you came to me and through your word you have saved me and set me free. Free from the prison of sin and all the chaos it brings. I am now truly FREE! I am in total awe of you God and your word. Will I ever be able to comprehend your level of compassion? How will I ever thank you?

I read your word and it says’ “sin no more”. Then I read about all the curses that will come upon those who continue to sin and how they won’t get into heaven. For a moment I get frightened, then you graciously remind me that you love me to such a profound degree that you yourself have provided me with a means of escape, victory over sin. And you did it in such a way that it has nothing to do with me or my ability but that of your prefect and Holy Son. I am in total awe of you God and your word. Will I ever be able to fully accept your depth of love? How will I ever thank you?

There are many verses in your word that are over used to the point of seeming like Christian clichés “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” and yet when I live them out in reality I am blown away by there profound truth. Only you Lord could make ink come alive. And have that ink so profoundly impact our lives that we are transformed by it. No matter what is set against me you continually work it out for my good. Amazing! Please God, teach me to live and breath every word. I am in total awe of you God and your word. Will I ever fully see the extent of your immeasurable power? How will I ever thank you?

Your word says I should rejoice in my suffering and that when I am weak you are strong. At first this sounds insane, contrary to what I would want. But then come the trials that I feel I can’t possibly withstand or overcome. And then you are there, lifting me up, guiding me, protecting me from the hurt and getting me through it. I am in total awe of you God and your word. Will I ever be able to comprehend your unwavering faithfulness? How will I ever thank you?

I long to thank you and show my appreciation but will my words ever be eloquent enough to express how truly grateful I am. The word gratitude is pale and insufficient to express what my heart and whole being feel. In lieu of my lack of words I offer my life fully surrendered to you. May that be pleasing to you. Teach me in your language Lord, how to express the gratitude of my heart so that I may speak words worthy of you hearing.

I’ve been told that “Simplicity is Scared” that being the case, for now, I will just have to stick with saying “thank you” God, from the bottom of my heart for loving me, guiding me and giving me the privilege to know you, the creator of the universe, the God I am in total awe of.

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I am dying
Dying to myself
I am dying for your Glory LORD
But I fight my death
To the last breath

(Hallelujah! I can Breathe!)

I lived in the state of my mind
Once reborn you find
We live our lives at the Gate
Not walking to the sight of heaven and reward
But walking INTO your sight Oh LORD
(I can not hide)

I am dying to live again
I am dying to myself
I am dying for your Glory LORD
But we fight our deaths
Till our last breaths

Until we see that what we thought was freedom isn't free
(The price is eternity)

(Hallelujah! I can Breath!)

A moment of clarity you helped me see
Once we give it UP we are Free
No more shackles, no more shame, no more need to blame

That was when I saw that Your Freedom wasn't free
Christ gave it to me

(Hallelujah! I can Breath!)

We are dying
Dying to ourselves
We are dying for your Glory LORD
But we fight our death
Till our last breath

(Hallelujah! We can Breathe)

Thank you LORD for showing us
That when we die
We are then alive
Filled with your Glory and Grace
Living a new Life
Not afraid to show my face
(No need to hide)

I pray LORD that we will achieve this death before we die
Listening to your written words
And listening to the words you still speak

Hallelujah! We can Breathe!

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Lord, I choose to give it all to You.

I choose to give You everything I have, and everything I am;

I lay it all freely at the foot of Your mighty throne.

Lord, I choose You.

Lord, I choose Your joy.

I choose to give You my pain and sorrow
because only You give protection and peace
through the fierce storm.

I come to the foot of Your mighty throne,
with a heart that needs mending,
I lay it in Your hands;

Lord, I choose You.

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Chains are not what I want,
They are cold, hard, and unfeeling.
Slavery is not something I long for
It is oppressive, lonely, and bitter.
I don't want either, yet I put myself in them, they are comfortable I make each link of my ball and chain, I put myself into slavery

No more chains, No more a slave!
My heart cries out for freedom, yet I ignore it I am comfortable in my world.
I hear the calling to come out of my shack To come to the castle, the bright day, the flowers, and the smiles.
To leave my comfort bubble, and step out of the zone of comfort

Lord, you know my heart
You alone know the struggle of the cross.
You alone know what it feels like to be abandoned and slighted You are worthy to be praised!
You are taking these deceptive chains and breaking them!
I fight and struggle for the known and comfortable, But, it is the unknown that is what my soul needs.

My soul is to be refreshed at the spring I want the cool water of Zion, yet I want to stay in my comfort place.
To have the cup of overflowing life,yet stay in the mouth of death.
This is my fleshly desire, to cut corners, to skip a step, to cheat "Lord, This is not fair."
That is what my heart cries. I complain of being stretched and finding time.
God alone knows the mask I'll put on.
I can trick all around me, yet God sees through my shattered place,my shattered face.

They all think that this is easy,
Something I've done or doing.
I have tried it before.
I have stepped out of my zone of comfort.
It was refreshing,Praise! Praise! Jehovah!
But, it was frightening.
Freighting, because I don't know what is to happen next, Freighting, because I HATE being vulnerable.
I don't want to think about it, I don't have time, I like my comfort zone, I like my chain.

I lie to myself, saying that the chain is soft and not harmful, Yet the blistering marks on my wrists tell differently.
I HATE being vulnerable, I like my wall, tall,so tall, like Jericho's.

The heart is deceitful, this I know to be true.
Lord, do not let me listen to the deceit of my heart I have experienced the refreshing water of Zion before, Living on fire! Living like never before.
I HATE being vulnerable! Lord, you alone do I praise you for all you have done!
Don't leave me in my time of struggle. I know that the light of your presence will come,

\But, this I know, it will be hard for me.
I HATE being vulnerable!
To be limp before God, to just sit there is a curse!
Do something, my head screams, say something!
Go running! No! sit down! Scream and shout! No! Be quiet!

Lord you have my heart.
Do with it what you will.
Please be patient, and understanding
I am in a cynical mood.
Oh, and I HATE being vulnerable before you.
I love you, more than anything that comes to my eye.
More than I know, but I also like my little life of structure.
I like things under control.

Lord, I know that I will be exhausted and tried when I am ready To be vulnerable and steady I know it would be easier to give up, and I try,but to no avail My flesh hates giving up, hates to surrender it's black captain of it's ship.
The flag of surrender bring relief and fear.
Fear of the unknown, not because of some punishment, but because I don't know what is to happen next.
Not knowing what God is going to do, is the hardest!
I trust You, but on limitations.
You want it all, but I am scared, God!
Scared of being out of control, away form the helm, away from the wheel Scared because I know you will do amazing things, things I want so much to be apart of!
To be apart of them is my soul's desire.

To be part of what you will do is what I want, No more chains, no more games.
Slavery is not an option,
Deceit will be thrust into it's watery grave that it rose up from.
Chain's will sink into the mirky water of comfort, The vision turns clear and the clouds are forced away.
The bell rings, I am out of my comfort again!
Out of the shack, Out of the black.
Out! Out!
Comfort is a dangerous thing. It slides and twists and slithers to your ears It whispers things only the Devil should hear.
It talks and makes excuses when you hear the call from the light.
As it slowly, slowly, stalks away into the night.

No! Comfort is no option!
I must step out of it! We are too comfortable, we are sleeping!
Lord!Lord! you alone are worthy to be praised!
You are killing my fleeting comfort and breaking me out of my self-made chains!

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All mankind will shout of your goodness
Bowing before your throne –
Creator of the universe,
Deserving of all honor and praise.
Even the rocks will rejoice, knowing you offer
Freedom and fellowship with you, my
God, my
Healer.
I Am.
Jehovah.
King of Kings.
Light of the World.
Most Holy and Complete,
Needing nothing, yet desiring my
Obedience, worship,
Praise.
Quieting my fears, you comfort; you
Redeemed me through the blood of Christ.
Salvation is mine!
Trusting in you completely,
Understanding your power and love,
Vowing that my whole self is yours,
Waiting to bow at your feet,
eXclaiming,
“You are my God – my Friend!”
Zion – Heaven – Home.